The ultimate goal of every sensible parent is to produce children who will one day become exceptionally greater than they are, in every aspect of life – health, spiritually, mentally, financially, relationships, etc. We want to see our offspring in a continuous state of onward progression. Growing to become just like the parents is unsatisfactory and regression can be completely devastating to loving parents. One key component that seems to be absent when it comes to realizing this ultimate goal, is a lack of respect for the power of planning.
The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad said that there were three scientific fields of knowledge that the slave master did not want the slave to ever learn: (1) the science of business, (2) the science of warfare and (3) the science of mating. Notice that we did not say: how to make money, how to shoot a gun and how to have intercourse. To know the science of something goes far beyond the surface. One who sciences something uncovers the very nature of the thing because he/she has observed, researched, tested and proven it several times over. If we know the science of something, we can master it. For the purpose of this book, we will focus on the science of mating.
What is the special formula to mating that wise white people have held in secrecy; but by the permission of God has been exposed? The science of mating covers a broad spectrum; which begins with how we are reared and educated during childhood and continues throughout courtship and marriage. There is one aspect of the science of mating that we tend to shy away from, which is the actual act of procreation – this too is scientific.
There are several instances in the Holy Qur’an where Allah (God) makes clear that He is continuously planning. He also declares at least twice in the Holy Qur’an, that He is the BEST of Planners (3:53, 8:30) – disabusing us of any thought to the contrary. One of the many Glorious names of Allah (God) is Al-Khāliq, which is most often translated to mean The Creator. But in addition to meaning, The Creator, other scholars translate it to mean, The Planner. If we are direct descendants of The Creator and Planner; then we are imbued with His essence and should manifest His attributes. The fact that Allah (God) plans is an indication that we, too, should plan – understanding that we will never become the Best of Planners. However, we do have the potential to become exceptional at planning. Is there any greater aspect of our lives that should be planned with thoughtful consideration and detail, than the moment we decide to procreate?
Allah (God) created the act of sex for the divine purpose of procreation, not recreation. Let’s rewind…The number one purpose of sex is to reproduce! We are not saying that we only have sex for that purpose, but the fact that Allah (God) allowed sex to be pleasurable is a nice bonus that helps to keep our marriages vibrant and passionate. To be clear, sexual intercourse outside of the sanctity of marriage is misuse and abuse of this most profound and sacred act. Each generation is falling further and further away from understanding that sex was not meant to be a cheap, low down, dirty act; but an act of responsibility and glory. The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan stated, “These (sexual) pleasure centers in the human being, used properly in accord with the Will of Allah (God), brings comfort, ease, consolation, rest, reward and joy to the souls that are working hard to fulfill their divine duty and obligation.” If sex comes before natural love has been established and sanctioned by marriage, then that becomes the base of our relationship. A relationship based on physical desires will be short-lived.
The hard truth is that most of us were conceived accidentally, not planned. Our parents most likely did not say to each other, ‘Sweetheart, let’s try to conceive a baby tonight.’ We were likely the product of a lustful encounter. Many of us may even have been the product of a one-night stand – our mother hardly knowing the man; or the unthinkable, a product of rape or incest. With proper planning, current and future generations can break this destructive cycle. It’s imperative that we learn the science of mating because what goes on while something is being fashioned becomes a part of the nature of the thing.
Once we get ourselves together morally, physically, mentally and spiritually; it is strongly recommended that husband and wife take at least one to two years to adjust to marriage and enjoy quality and quantity time together before the tremendous demands of parenthood enter into the picture. Get to know one another and start to build a strong foundation by strengthening your relationship with God and with each other. Learn what makes each other happy and what annoys. Talking on the phone and going out to dinner once in a while during courtship is one thing. But as the cliché goes, ‘You never really know a person until you have lived with them.’ In the second month of pregnancy is not the time to first discover that your husband has the world’s worst snoring problem or that your wife refuses to clean up after herself. This sounds petty, but it seems that everything is magnified when a woman is pregnant. Our children will enjoy a more loving and peaceful household if these small issues are worked out before conception.
Unlike the man who is constantly producing sperm; women are born with all of the eggs they will ever have. Women release one egg every month, so she must be careful of the foods, drinks and outside influences that she consumes; this will all affect that specific egg. Maintaining a healthy and regular diet, exercise routine and lifestyle increases the ability of a woman to know, with precision, her fertile days (before, during & after ovulation). This information is necessary in order to plan the very moment that intimacy with her husband will lead to conception. Spontaneity certainly has its rewards and benefits, but it must be temporarily deferred when the intention is to procreate. Once the glorious decision has been made – there is nothing left to do but conceive. When a couple anticipates and desires for a specific moment of intimacy to result in pregnancy, then they must both become mentally and spiritually involved; not just physically. It is especially important for the woman to elevate her thoughts. How and why we were conceived has much to do with the type of person we are today.
The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan said, “Plan the very minute you want to conceive. Conceive at dawn as the sun is rising in the east and you are both well rested and full of energy from a night of sleep. Do not conceive in the middle of the night or before bed when both of you are tired and sleepy. Be sure that you are prayerful at this moment repeating the attributes of Allah…Bismillahir Rahman nir-Raheem (In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful). Lay down with your husband/wife in the Name of Allah. The woman lies prone looking to the heavens and the man is looking to the earth. You become one, head to head and chest to chest, not filled with lust and passion alone, but filled with the spirit of God. Have Allah (God) on your mind, woman, and the type of child you wish to conceive.”
A man and woman who have Allah (God) as the center of their relationship learn to see one another as Allah (God) sees them. The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan said that a woman who truly loves you wants to produce you over again. She will not be upset but will be overcome with joy when she learns of the life that is growing inside of her. The most sacred thing a woman can do above any profession is to bear a child. This sacred act demands that we take it seriously and place the uppermost importance on it. The Book of Psalms reads, “Ye are all gods, children of the Most High God.” Let us give our children a proper start and ensure them the best opportunity of living up to that declaration.